dashed

their moodswings can swing from us to japan, 180 degree change. i shouldnt be harbouring hope in the first place.

cruelty. it takes a really blackest heart to do that to another person. leaving no place for the victim to retreat and being happy that you have caused your victim shame.

but should i even be surprised that that's who they are?

i want to leave.

in a week's time, i wont even know what im talking about. i really shouldnt forget so easily. others say forgive and forget. i say what's there to forgive if you have already forgotten? but this time, i really dont want to forget.

P.S to the future me, you are just a bystander.

daily idling

im obsessed with playfish games lately and so i have abandoned neopets again. i have the most beautiful (and ostentatious) restaurant front in restaurant city

and the most beautiful pet in pet society. *beam* and my house in pet society is of course one of the prettiest la. cannot claim the prettiest yet cuz my level is low hence not much money thus cannot buy beautiful things to decorate my beautiful house.

anyway, i cant believe the petling i hatched is horrendously ugly!! its in blue and its ears are red and its eyes are yellow. what kind of colour combination is this?? urghh, and i cant throw it away. not yet anyway. but just urghh!!

ok, i have no life.

and i have been skipping interviews. zzz... kkz, kinda feel this irritating emotion by the name of regret whenever i took a glance at my bank account. sigh*

im now back to reading my favourate genre manga again :D its been 6 months!

i really want to tan my face. but i dont know how. want to make it two shades darker. its whiter than my neck. and how the hell is that possible anyway? shouldnt my neck be the one whiter? so troublesome. and i didnt get my class photo when the rest of the class did. great. anyway, i peeked at it and i really feel like taking a photo of it and upload it here just to show you how white my face is sometimes. im the whitest of them all. i wont mind if its fair. BUT its white.

and one of these days, im gonna buy myself a hamster. and in the future, i will get myself this cute little puppy that is just begging me to cuddle with it.

i really miss the smell of hamster and the feel of their soft little feets paddling across my skin ):

this post is a combination of posts that i wanted to post this week but cant get myself to spend a few more extra minutes of my life to. please dont mind the lack of coherency. :)

How to Protect your Eyes from Computer Vision Syndrome

do/want

i want to try this
im watching this
and this


and my face is

sweet

when your friends provide you help without you even asking for it or you even realising that you need it, dont you feel this warm fuzzy feeling in your chest, like your heart is very warm and suddenly has expanded to feel up your whole chest?

<3

Be Nice

to you:

i really dont like you when you get all bossy and thinks you are so high and mighty that you can just criticise other people. "i already mentioned in the email. just follow it" or "weird or not, we have to get it done. i dont think its very hard to post a sentence or two right?" its quite hard to notice the tone if you dont know the context. but anyway, you might not have realised it, but you really come off as an extremely rude person who thinks she is very smart (which unfortunately(for me), you are). this side of you might have been reserved just for me because i know that you dont like irresponsible person and i AM irresponsible. at least to people who i dont care about. but seriously, treat people the way you want them to treat you kkz. and fyi, i dont mind irresponsible people. as a matter of fact, those ppl who are too responsible irks me. yay, you know another weird side of wenny. congratulations.

anyway, i went to meet CY today. we actually planned to eat the icecream buffet at breeks cafe but ended up with anderson's icecream and burgerking's fries -.- haha, but still, happyhappy. and we saw junhua. thanks CY for being such an amazing friend to ditch me aside (for 2min?) to focus all you attention on him. haha!

me: we are NOT close. did you see me hi to him? or for that matter, did you see him hi to me? CY: your grammar ar!

Crazy ME

"Is it fucked up that sometimes I get sadder when animals die than when people die?" he said. The question was blunt, stinging, and it hung awkwardly in the air.

"Yeah…yeah, that's very fucked up, actually."

"But think about it. Animals are just animals. They don't cause war, they can't kill people with guns, knifes, etc. I mean…okay, sometimes animals are dangerous, obviously, like a bear or a lion or something. But other than that, I mean…animals are just…here. They don't talk, they don't argue, they don't neglect and abuse their children, they don't…I don't know, cheat on their husbands and wives, they don't do drugs, they don't ...

my thoughts exactly. actually, most animal lovers who have bonded with their pets feel this way. at least the ones i know do. i often daydream of a world where there are just nice human beings who are not hurting the animals and the earth around them. anyway, this sounds hypocrite but i never say i wasnt one. but if there's a world like this, the earth will be so beautiful (even if i have to die to let it be)

-

and there will be no love lost between me and hc or me and my classmates. just saying. feel like i should keep saying this point. maybe im trying to convince myself or just to convince you. blah. i hope one day, i could see myself clearly and know what i want/need without having to wait till its gone. if im kicked out, maybe i will know whether i really mind. and i have applied for jobs already. please let me get accepted into every one of them so i can choose =x

how to know you have scored badly? when teachers look at you with disappointment and start saying you reap what you sow in class.

U

U for my chem and math.
yay for me?

Sleepyhead

i was so sleepy today (because im having a slight fever) that i slept with a guy. in a bus. on the last row of seat. at separate ends. lol. can totally feel stares directed at the two of us often. anyway, that guy really was sleeping cuz he needed me to wake him up at the bus interchange.

and im ready to head off to bed right now after watching another episode of gossip girl season 2. decided to watch it anyway. cant find episodes of grey's anatomy. first time i decided to watch season 2 of an american drama. just goes to show how good it is.

and dont you love it when she smiles? the way the corners of her mouth tilt upwards?

night all! its 5pm. sleep early! )

fickle

kkz, finished season 1 of gossip girl a few days ago and im too bored to continue with season 2 even if its a great show.
i dont understand why a lot of people love ghost whisperer. its too hard on my eyes. watch episode 1 and i have no idea why water just keep flowing out of my eyes. god, my eyeball is achy now. i prefer laughing at a show till my jaw ache then crying my eyes out.
conclusion from ghost whisperer epi1: WAR SUCKS.

/add
i swear every episode of ghost whisperer is going to make me cry. oh, my eyes hurt like shit!
anyway, i seldom cry at those romance stuff because i think its stupid. i cry at those friendship, family love, pets' love etcetc which normally people will just feel touched but not cry at it. urghh. right, not gonna watch ghost whisperer anymore. i think im switching to grey's anatomy. kkz, nights.

sweet

watch the child's eye today. its that horror film with rainie as the main actress. i think its boring? lol! anyway, there's this two people sitting behind me. i keep hearing them whispering this is scary etcetc and so im always glancing behind me and i would see them cuddling together with their faces cm apart. anyway, i thought, wow, a cute couple yeah? haha. turn out both of them are guys! me went -.- and squeal*
haha!

anyway, i wouldnt really recommend child's eye but you cant take my word for it since according to a lot of ppl, im sorta brave about such things. i mean hey, eyes wide open when its horror part and snoozing when its the boring part? or eyes sparkling and dreaming of taking that ride in clark quay or going universal studio and taking multiple rounds on the mummy ride or some other rides that guarantee screaming? and i remember on my second time on pirate boat ( hai dao chuan ), i was practically pouting cuz its not as thrilling as the first time anymore. i was staring at the people screaming around me and thinking god, this is scary? lol. this is me :)

im in an extremely bad mood and i have to go out like RIGHT NOW because im already late and then i will feel guilty later when i meet E and she wont even be angry and everything is just so urghhhhhh. everything is happenly wrongly and i dont want to care. one word: URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh


ok bye, going out now.

new love

have i said im kinda loving gossip girl right now?

:)

today is :)
tmr will be :)
and tmr's tmr will be :) too
and if everything going well, tmr's tmr's tmr will be :)

me loves me friends, esp those chatting, bonding session.

P.S gossip girl rocks! sorry, heroes, not gonna be watching you anymore. :)

Mind, Soul, Body

im glad that YL cant make it in the end! otherwise, i wont be able to take that 3pm afternoon nap and sleep all the way till 3am :D feeling so relax now! but the thought of the meeting later just spoil my mood. blah.

anyway, all my days lately are all spent lazily in bed except for sat. didnt go meet ppl on fri cuz i decided to sleep early. went out early on sat and got home late at night. tired. broke. happy. satisfied. YL cant meet me on sun so i spent sun sleeping too. pw meeting tmr. then after that, should i meet SL or come home to sleep again? >.<


P.S deleted hc, 2010 from my profile page high school section. :(

Late

Prelim is over. whatever's going to happen, i deserve it.

im wanting swenson, subway, pizzahut, longjohnsilver :D and im going shopping tmr. or more specifically a few hours later. i wish im slim, then i can buy pretty clothes hehe!
anyway, i was having craving for deep fried unhealthy food this week. there's just something satisfying about eating food that is not good to you. bleh. maybe not to others, but i really feel satisfied. gorging oneself on such things is awesome. lol, dont give me the shit on how fat i am etcetc. life is short. i will eat whatever i want, be whoever i want. not that i want to be fat, but there's no reason for me to slim down. other than clothes ;D but that's a weak reason. lol.

/edit
btw, i read through my previous posts and i realised i really dont know what i want! like first, i want to get kick out. next, i dont care if i got kick out. now? im FREAKING AFRAID of getting kick out. gahh.

-

you know what make everything sucks?
its that you know you can do it but because of your own attitude, you cant and there's no way anyone can help you because you dont deserve it.

i know how to do my chem and bio paper. i really do. i know what answers to write but i cant write it down. why? because i only read my lecture notes once and so i cant remember every keywords that are needed.
if i was like my sec1 self, i can easily tell you i will be getting an A.

its not that im upset i will be failing it. im upset that im not meeting my potential! if i really dont know how to do the paper, its ok. everyone's intelligence has a limit.but i know how to do! urgh.

Giving Up

i want to give up!

GP is a major failure for the compre section.
Econs is a major failure for the case study section and i dont even know why must include Ad,AS. most of my classmates talked about that and I DIDNT.
Bio is expected. like i can do well for it when i only read for 3hours on the barest minimum. but at least there's an improvement this time round right? i didnt even touch it for my midyear.
Chem is tough, fullstop.
And lets not talk about math.

so yeah, i should face my fate with dignity and pride by giving up this instant and start sourcing for JC/Poly to take me in next year.

ok, im tired. my eyelids feel like its weighing one kg each and i just woke up from a few hours of sleep.

P.S when i think about getting kick out, i really dont feel anything.

Tarot on my Promo

as the title says.

past: The Moon
explanation: confusion, fear, terror, premonition of bad stuffs.
-> really feeling this way for my studies since march.

current: The Devil
explanation: low willpower, cheated, cursed, went into the wrong life direction
-> erm, yeah!! feeling this way too!

future: Death
explanation: failure in exams, kick out of school, lost in direction, all the bad things
-> this card represent my test results! T.T

recommended action to undertake: The Hanged Man
explanation: endurance, self-sacrifice, self-reflection, submission
-> lol! i sort of knew this. but i really dont want to do any of this.

people's reaction to your situation: The Lovers
explanation: hope, trust
-> YES! a lot of people really believe i can do it. sucks man! i want to hear depressing comments. lol! im in mood number 5.

possible help given or obstruction in your path: Temperance
explanation: hope, family support
-> eh, my family are like "dont get kick out! its embarassing." -.-

final outcome: The charot (in reverse direction)
explanation: hard work paid off, victory, goals reached.
-> another possible outcome for my promo result.

so according to my tarot deck, its either i will pass spectacularly or failed spectacularly.

P.S i really believe in these things. though sometimes its not accurate because my interpretations of it are often swayed by my emotions.

stress

i didnt realise i was so stressed that i dont even feel like talking :(
i was on the bus and there's this guy blocking me from the exit. i was like excuse me, excuse me but he didnt bulge because he didnt hear me. he and his friend were talking very loudly. lol, then his friend say his name and pointed to me. its at that point that i realise i was actually whispering excuse me. me is mentally and physically stress ok! but at least this time i didnt drop that much hair. one consolation.

anyway, because i was so stressed, i was hence tired, and thus i bought the wrong thing. sigh*

habit

one of my cousins came today for a sleepover. wasnt that close to her but she has those kind of aura that makes ppl really comfortable with talking with her :) when i was young, i rmb thinking that i need to be like her because she is damn nice and good-tempered. have you ever met someone that at first glance, you just know that she is a genuinely good-hearted person that wont harm you? i have :D and its two people too!

anyway, i have been eating painkiller every night that just now, i was taking my usual dose without even thinking about it. i wasnt even having headache.

P.S i hope i got kick out. but im still going to try my best at promo just to know where i stand in such 'good' school.

Me is Young!

i was reading some GP compre passages, and one of them made me realise that woohoo, i have the mind of a kid. :D ok la, its not something to be proud of, but hey, i never said i want to be mature right? according to the writer, the typical child is selfish, only concerned about one's interests which the child rashly indulge in. in addition, the bad tempered spoilt behaviour often blinds them to other people's feelings and situation. the writer is obviously talking about me! i can easily name a few situations where im just like that. its really not something to be happy about, but i can say i have always been doing self-reflections although im a bit lag. i always realise my mistake months later when my mind randomly conjures up that particular situation where i did something wrong. but at least im not like some people who never knew where their faults lie. there are a lot of things that i have done that make me cringe in regret. like some instances when its obviously my fault but i still have the face to defend myself as though im not the one who mess things up.

promo is starting tmr. i havent learn any subjects yet. i did a tarot reading just now. and it says i will pass my exams in flying colours! which translates to i will fail them spectacularly. OMG. last year, my tarot says my O level results will suck (represented by the death card -.-) but it turn out opposite. im.so.dead.

/edit
read my past posts, and i realised "my olevel results going to suck" is actually one of the possible outcomes that are going to happen. there is another card which says i will get my desired grade.

The Rime Of The Ancient Mariner

Alone, alone, all, all alone,
Alone on a wide wide sea!
And never a saint took pity on
My soul in agony.

_

IE and firefox sucks.