Mixed Feel

“The second paper, published in Neurology this past week, finds that middle-schoolers who suffer from migraines with aura are more likely than their peers to suffer from depressive disorders or anxiety disorders — and to be at risk of suicide. While the link between the conditions is poorly understood, the paper, which followed 8,000 youths, notes that altered levels of serotonin — a neurotransmitter affecting mood and appetite — have an impact both on migraine headaches and affective disorders. The study doesn’t suggest that migraines make kids suicidal. But it does show that kids with migraines are more likely to be suicidal. It’s possible, then, that further research would uncover common biochemical causes.”

Source: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1618409,00.html#ixzz0ylPaQaBM

you are looking for the causes and solutions to a problem you had. out of five sites, four of them state that suicide rate is high for your problem. how would you feel?

“Many people have committed suicide over Migraine.  When you do not have the support or structure or knowledge to arm yourself with, attacks seem hopeless and never-ending.  You get caught in a vicious cycle of medicating, fatigue, and pain.  You may have others in your family who don’t understand the limits that Migraine will push you to, so you end up feeling even more lost.  Stroke risks aside, Migraine CAN be a killer, but while some of us worry about stroke, many more are wondering just how they are going to make it through the next day with no one around to help them.  And yet, people keep brushing Migraine aside as an emotional, nervous affliction that can be easily fixed by drinking a daily mixture of vinegar or having your back adjusted regularly…Which makes no sense to me, but then, a lot of people don’t stop to consider what makes sense.”

Source: http://www.healthcentral.com/migraine/c/8501/37503/migraine-suicide

yeah, definitely agree with the part that no one understands other than fellow migraine sufferers.

im not feeling suicidal or anything la. im just not the type who will go commit suicide just because i cant stand something. but it is till so disheartening to know that the possibility of suicide rate for me is high just because im having migraine everyday.

actually, i know the cause of my migraine. its everything that is related to my jc. i dont know why i just hate my jc so much. it might be the environment. it might be the teachers. it might be my classmates. who knows? but the one fact that im sure is ever since i have enrolled myself into this school, i have been getting migraine everyday. one person once told me that headache is a way your body tells you to stop doing something. so yeah, even my body is telling me to quit this irritating jc that is causing me misery. but you know what? i will endure it. anyway, there is a high possibility of me getting kick out by the end of this year. damn, i really dont know what im feeling. getting kick out? one side of me goes: yeah!!! happy life for me from now on!! the other side goes: what am i going to do now? omgomg! how?how?

i hate my stupid inability to make decision on how i should feel, on what i want and how to analyse my own situation.

anyway, im feeling so helpless. i really want to yell at the teachers that yes, i hate it here. and yes, i dont care about my stupid bloody marks so STOP lecturing me on my U and what not and just freaking leave me alone. and you really want the answer to why im getting headache every bloody day? its because of this school, because of you! first time ever that i cant stand teachers. anyway, they are nice la, very caring and all (not sarcasm ok!!) but i really cannot stand their attitude on marks. i cannot help it but feel disgust when they over emphasise on marks. i guess this is what happens when you go into those top schools? why cant all the teacher be like onizuka? (talking about great teacher onizuka here) urgh!! i hate feeling helpless!!